Sunday, October 3, 2010
Monday morning
Hello, I have been up quite a bit again this evening. I get a strange pain in my leg that wakes me up and always scares me. The patient side of me is always jumping to conclusions while the nurse side is busy calming me down. I have a recheck on tuesday and my fear is that they are going to find a reason to run more tests or keep me longer. Either way - more money. I have another PT appt tomorrow to help drian some of the tissues again. Would be nice to wear regular socks again. I know it's my health but there is a point when it does come down to the money. Don't get me wrong, this trip was well worth it. Would just like to catch a break here and there. I am so terribly homesick for my kids. It's almost to the point where I'm happy to miss them on Skype as I get into such a down mood after hearing Ryan ask me when I'm coming home, or Abby with her countdown, or just the tone of Kaleb's voice. I want to be well enough to run to them at the airport and pick them up and tell them I will never again ask them not to sit on mommy's lap. That's really when I knew the money was not an option, there is nothing more heatbreaking then telling your child she/he can not sit on your lap after they've had a bad day because you back hurts. It has been over 1 1/2 years of that excuse and it needs to end. I am sorry, just having a bad night and feeling sorry for myself. I guess I know deep down that this surgery was my last chance, and every small setback or pain reminds me there is no other recourse. On a brighter note!!!!!! My left leg (nerve) pain is completely gone. This was the one thing they couldn't promise me that could be fixed due to possible nerve damage, so really, I should have no reason to believe the rest wouldn't get better with time. Like I said, just up to late, tired, and felling sorry for myself. Nothing on TV but naked women- not sure what they are trying to sell but I think they want you to call them. Wish they'd put some damn clothes on! Had a great night last evening with my husband. Enjoyed a very peaceful anniversary, until I came back to the hotel and fell asleep. We did have a glass of champagne first though- thanks Marc! 3 days and counting- make some chocolate Christine, I am going to be going through vanilla ice cream withdrawell! Airplane trip is a long one. We leave Munich around 10:30am and get to Fargo around 6:33pm - don't forget the 7 hour time differnece! See you all soom thanks for commenting
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My friend, I really wish I could call you. Sorry you had such a bad night, and we all deserve time to feel sorry for ourselves. Jodi you have been through hell, and I wish the swelling would go down. I am sure you will be on your flight, and I hope you don't care if I meet you in fargo just to give you a hug. Glad to hear that the nerve pain is gone. How does it feel not to have it after dealing with it for almost two years. It will get better, I know it. Love you
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are anxious. I'm sorry and wish I could be there to give you a hug. I think every-thing will turn out okay. I know you are anxious to get home and it is heartbreaking for you, but I guess I think it would be worse if you didn't have Skype. At least this way the kids can see you and you can see them. You're in my prayers, honey. God bless. Marc
ReplyDeleteSorry you are having hard days, but this is going to be well worth it! Just think of how happy those faces will be when they see the two of you getting off the plane. Those faces will be priceless and somebody needs to take their pictures!! I also hope you took pictures of Mike in the leather pants!!
ReplyDeleteI am praying for all of you. Can't wait to see you when you get home! Missy